New Year, new you? Well…maybe. I want to say a few things that I’ve learned about setting new intentions and helping make them a bit more achievable.
First of all, the word ‘goals’ for me doesn’t exactly invoke joy. I don’t know if it feels too forced or something but I don’t like the word and have never been a big fan of New Years resolutions. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t like achieving new milestones (like everyone else), so here’s a way I started thinking about goals that changed my results ten fold.
First of all, think of something you want to achieve. Weather it’s to hit the gym 3x/week, develop a better relationship with your family or take more you time. I like to make goals very selfish – this is where you get to focus on YOU! So when you’re making them try not to think about how it will effect other people in your life, rather focus on the benefit it will bring to you and how much increased vitality this will bring to your day to day.
So let’s say your aim is to connect more with your spouse. You want to spend time with your husband/wife and get a quality of relationship you haven’t achieved before. Great intentions, however, the problem is that’s not measurable. You know you want more but you’re not being clear about exactly what it is you want. This can lead to that constant nagging feeling of ‘something’s missing..’.
Instead, focus on who you would have to become in order to have a better quality relationship with your spouse. Would you have to be a more conscious listener? Would you have to be more present and put away your phone? Does this mean you gotta get brave and actually tell your spouse that this is important to you and why this means so much to you? Whatever it is to you – start realising the person YOU have to become to start hitting the quality of life you want (and deserve).
This does one thing in perticular, which is to make you 100% responsible for your happiness. You can’t put that in someone else’s hands – it’s way too big a job! People have an innately selfish nature, it’s just the way we are, don’t fight it. Take advantage of the amazing resources you have in your problem solving abilities and ask better questions. When you do this enough you’ll notice the people around you will either rising to your energy or naturally moving in a different direction. No harsh words or “you should’ve done this different” conversations necessary. Life has enough hurdles, make as much shit as easy as possible.